|Tales of a Hay Hauler: An old hay hauler’s rules for dating|
|Columns - Brad Nelson|
|Monday, 21 September 2009 05:35|
Did you ever make a short list of things that would make life simpler? How would it be, for instance, if we could fast-forward from the onset of puberty to being happily married, completely skipping the whole dating scene?
The sad fact is that certain social skills that make for a happy marriage need to be picked up in the time-frame of the dating scene. The college years caused some great ingenuity as far as dates went, due to the general shortage of cash.
I once missed a required field trip pertaining to a livestock marketing class. Since work was the cause of the missed trip, a make-up was allowed. The field trip had been to the Spanish Fork, Utah livestock auction, and the make-up consisted of going on my own schedule to another sale at the same facility and making a report of the classes of livestock sold and the price range for each.
I invited my roommates to get dates and come with me. Four couples went to the Saturday afternoon sale, and while seven of the group chatted and took in the aroma of the event, I dutifully took notes as the assignment required.
The girls must have been impressed, since they told everyone in the respective residence dorms about the date to the livestock auction. My date told me that she was hearing many girls saying to their boyfriends, “Why don’t you ever think of doing something interesting on a date, like taking me to a livestock auction?”
The event was a hit with the girls, and I do not even remember if we stopped for a soda on the way home. I must have had a number of fellows at BYU hating me after that.
Another incident may have put me on someone’s “hitlist”. I went to a dance on campus one evening. Early on at the dance, as a young lady attempted to pass by me, I asked her to dance.
She accepted, and we walked onto the dance floor and danced one dance. The custom had been to then walk the lady back to where one found her, thank her for the dance, and maybe come back for another dance later if one were brave enough.
When the music stopped, I took her by the hand, as though to walk her off the dance floor. Instead, I asked her questions about herself; where home was, what she was studying, what she wanted to be when she grew up, etc.
Music started again and, without asking, we danced again. We never left the dance floor. When the last dance was announced, I asked if I could give her a ride to her apartment.
She became a bit embarrassed and blurted out that she had come to the dance on a date with another fellow. I told her that she should have told me this earlier, and that now her date would be waiting for me in the parking lot with vengeance in mind.
She told me not to worry, he was just someone her roommates had set her up with and that he was about half my size. She gladly gave me her phone number and scooted off.
Some of the best things in life are free. Most weekends and evenings at BYU, free concerts and traveling displays of various sorts are all over campus.
I stumbled upon the realization that most young ladies were just as happy to spend time walking hand-in-hand and talking while looking at the various displays as if we had gone to a movie.
After all, isn’t a date a chance to become better acquainted with the other person? This is called quality time, to just be together and share feelings, thoughts, dreams, goals and fears.
Giving of one’s self is much more meaningful than “buying the peace” with gifts or money. Why, even a two-year-old will reject his favorite chocolate chip cookie as a bribe when what he wants most of all is to go with Dad or Grandpa. PD